“The more we distract ourselves from ourselves, the farther and farther away we become from our highest self- the state of owning and thriving in our truth.”
That feeling that something is just... missing. You can’t quite put your finger on why you feel burnt out from all the busyness in your life. The hustle and bustle of 2020, this new year has come fast. You’ve been putting in countless hours at your job but really not feeling all that productive. You come home exhausted turn on the tv trying to catch up on the latest episode of your favorite Netflix show but don’t even end up watching it because you scrolled through Instagram the whole time. Now the weekend comes and you’ve got all the birthdays, holiday parties, and Sunday Funday brunches to hit with your besties yet after its all said and done you can’t quite recall all the conversations you had, and you’re still left feeling anxious and unsettled despite being so busy. If this sounds like you, you could be suffering from a case of being disconnected from yourself.
So keep reading for my 5 Ways you can better connect with yourself on a deeper level
For those of you reading - Hello, Hello! This is the transcript for episode 5 of The Mindfully Lifted Podcast. An audio program where we dive into philosophy, wellness, and spirituality for the holistic-minded human. You can also listen to this episode for the full experience by clicking the play button at the top of this blog post!
I’m the host, Kamela Celeste back to say wow...We freaking made it, we survived 2019 and what a hell of a year, a hell of a decade to wrap up.
So SO much coolness has happened since I last left you guys in episode 4 and I can’t wait to share all of it with you! Stick around until the end for my personal life update and without further to do, let's get into today's topic!
So you’re feeling somewhat of a void you say? I see it this way, at the core of our inner being lies all that we tend to easily get distracted from, our true self- forgotten gifts we possess, talents and skills that bring us joy, emotions we’ve been masking, wants and needs that’ve been slowly pushed aside. Whether a conscious or subconscious process, when we put ourselves second to all of life's demands we become unable to even focus on those things as well. For all that has been ignored inside begins to block our minds from being entirely present. We succumb to this pattern of constantly distracting ourselves in order to avoid, ourselves. The sooner we are able to recognize the disconnection, the sooner we can start the important work of reconnecting with everything internally that’s been on the back burner.
Why is recognizing all of this so important? Why is being connected to yourself important? Ignoring our emotions, gifts, needs and desires stunts our healing, growth, and development as a human being.
When we tune into ourselves, our real emotions, needs and gifts we are owning our truths, we are essentially cultivating self-awareness, the healing process, tapping into what brings us fulfillment, which ultimately facilitates growth into our most authentic state. When we are doing this work, stepping into our highest selves we can fully show up in all areas of our lives, our jobs, careers, relationships, etc.
So what does connecting with myself look like? Well, I can’t speak for anyone but myself so here are 5 things I do to help reconnect with me and maybe you’ll find them helpful for you too.
1 Write Morning Pages - I have said this time and time again, maybe even in nearly every episode I’ve done so far and that is morning pages are pure magic. They are crucial to having an open and honest conversation with yourself. A way to check in, a way to be transparent with yourself free from judgement and influence. When you are writing morning pages you are directly tapping into the self that’s been muted and masked. You can begin to navigate all the thoughts and emotions that have been jumbled up in your head dying to be known and released. I personally write them, daily, or as often I can. They don’t even need to be just “morning” pages, they can be lunch pages, midnight pages or bathroom pages - whatever time works for you to sit, undistracted, unrushed, unbothered, that is when I suggest doing them. 3 pages of whatever comes to your mind. You don’t even need to sit down with a goal of “okay I’m going to write about my emotions for 3 pages”. Just sit, clear your mind and start writing, whatever surfaces is what is meant to. Even if its “ I am sitting here in bed writing these silly pages and I have no idea what to write” put that down and keep writing, seriously. This step alone will drastically change your life, I even notice on days I don’t write them seem completely different than days I do carve out time to write them. Making time for this is the same as making time for yourself. Highly highly suggest if you only take away one thing from this episode to start doing it would definitely be this!
2 A Gratitude List- Yup. I’m sure you’ve heard of this via many books, podcasts, Instagram graphics, etc. Expressing gratitude has so many wonderful scientifically proven benefits, it can lift your mood, reduce depression, encourages psychological resilience, increases our feelings of self-worth, and just has an overall positive effect on our total mental health and relationships. I usually incorporate a gratitude list into my morning pages but if you are doing this separately, an easy way I’ve found to incorporate this is by taking a post-it note pad and a pen, setting them on your bathroom counter so you will be reminded to initiate when you go to brush your teeth or you can place post-its on your nightstand before you turn out the light. You can certainly make this list each day but if you’re only starting, make it simple and just jot down as many things you can think of that will fit on the post when you start feeling disconnected. You might find yourself surprised just how many things in your life you are truly blessed with.
3 Exercise/ Movement - This step is especially important for those of us who are stationary majority of the day ( as I’m sure you already know) but without getting into the physical benefits from working out or movement, diving into the mental benefits most particularly the advantage of the mind-body connection with yourself. Working out (whatever that may look like for you, weightlifting, yoga, spin class, etc), or general movement outside of sitting and standing (like going for a walk, stretching, dancing etc) is a fantastic way to tune out distractions and spend that quality time nurturing our physical state/ pent up energy. Headphones in during a lift, walks, yoga, spin class by ourselves really allow us to be one with our vessel and spirit which can help thoughts, tension, emotions surface and have a way to physically be released. Movement, getting the blood flowing and sweating it out also has been proven to increase our body image and self-confidence and when we are confident in ourselves we can then be confident in our ideas and actions.
4 Go to your favorite spot in your city- When I lived in Houston my absolute favorite spot in the city was Hermann park, more specifically the Centennial Garden. It was beautiful and busy mostly, people were everywhere but it also possessed a sense of calm and quiet at the same time. It was the only place in the city for me where I felt most connected with myself and could somewhat be in nature. Now living in Seattle, there is so much nature all around even taking a solo walk down the street to grab a cup of coffee is a positive experience for me. I highly recommend finding a spot near you where you can venture to safely by yourself. Whether that's a local park surrounded by trees and mountains or just going to your favorite coffee shop or restaurant and well taking yourself on a date really. Doing this alone, kind of rewires your brain to think “hey I can do this on my own, I can be with myself and my thoughts and all is well” I know I know, sometimes my favorite spot in my city is my own house too, but even if you go to a quiet place in your home where you can sit alone with your thoughts ( maybe a candlelit bath, a cozy study or out on your porch/ balcony) Having a place where you can spend quality time with yourself is very important when you are seeking to reconnect.
5 Meditate Guided or Unguided - Lastly, Meditation. Ah meditation, how hard it is for me to literally just sit still in silence at times. I have slowly worked my way up to meditating unguided the more I keep up with my meditation practice- but I will say it has definitely been easier for me when I am so far disconnected from myself and have a whole bunch of thoughts to sort through to start with a guided practice from youtube or a meditation podcast for even just a few minutes I’ve found to be tremendously helpful. I usually just search for gratitude meditation, abundance meditation or creativity meditation and so on, depending on what I’m feeling I specifically need to get recentered with. If I am really feeling it sometimes I will just put on some soothing vocaless meditation music and focus on a single thought or just listen to my breath for a little bit and let my mind go wherever it wants. I think that's where a lot of us can get hung up on the whole intimidation about unguided meditation- “I’m not supposed to be thinking about that project at work right now, or the grocery list or” whatever it is that is coming up, try to just let those thoughts into your headspace free from judgment and shame and see where else your mind can wander to just by simply allowing it to organically navigate all that surfaces.
I hope these 5 suggestions help you to feel more centered, focused and intimate with yourself.
I know it can be so hard to not let the routine of life pull you away from yourself but one of the biggest lessons I learned this past decade was to not neglect myself, to do this work, to be comfortable hanging out with just me and my thoughts and my life has seen such a dramatic change because of it.
A nice segue into things that happened in 2019 since we left off in September - I know I announced my upcoming road trip / move to Seattle and wow you guys, what a freaking adventure! We went through the desert chicness of Marfa, TX, then onto Taos and Albuquerque, New Mexico, slid on through Colorado to the breathtaking petrified beauty of Arches National Park in Utah, made a pit stop in Idaho, froze with delight in Jackson Hole Wyoming, saw the majesty of Tetons and Yellowstone in Montana, hopped on the Oregon Trail and into this magical evergreen state.
It has been 2 months since officially becoming Seattlites and Roland ( my boyfriend) and I have been enjoying every minute of it! As you all know, I made the trip out here with no job, no apartment, and really not a whole lot of expectations other than enjoying this adventure and guys, it worked out. I took a huge leap of faith starting over somewhere new and it’s been the most amazing journey, it’s presented its own set of unique challenges being in a totally new environment, new job industry but never the less I can’t help but know in my core I made the right decision. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my family, my friends, my old clients back home and even my old job. But I am also happy to have done this for me and to welcome all the growth that will accompany being out here. I haven’t been back to Texas yet since moving, I don’t have any trips planned to go back just yet but I know I will at some point! It’s crazy to me because I wrote about what life would be like moving here in my journal a few months before we made the trip out here and it’s been all of that and more.
You’ve been reading the transcript for episode 5 of The Mindfully Lifted Podcast,
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Thank you guys so so much for reading/listening, your support means the world to me! Any feedback or topics you’d like to hear discussed on the show send any of the accounts mentioned a DM on Instagram because I’d love to hear how this show has helped you in any way.
That’s our show/ blog post humans, I will catch you guys in the next one, I’m your host Kamela Celeste - signing off.